Her Brave Fight

Over the course of the last two years, I have watched my dear friend, Leslie, fight a very aggressive form of breast cancer. It’s ironic because, prior to her diagnosis, I didn’t have any idea of her true inner strength. If I thought she would be a bit wimpy when dealing with pain, I couldn’t have been more wrong!

In a world turned upside down and inside out, she has somehow managed to find the beauty in everyday life, to truly live in the moment and encourage those around her to stop and smell the roses. She lives her life full of grace making all of us around her feel important and loved.

I don’t really know how I feel about all of this, the emotions range from anger to deep sorrow. If she succumbs to this awful disease, the world will somehow seem less bright. There’s a helplessness that comes with watching her struggle through extreme fatigue and sickness. I sometimes feel guilty that I am relatively healthy even though I abuse my body daily. I have come to realize that life is really precious and much too short sometimes.

What can I say about a girl who has it all and gives of herself so freely? Looking back, I now realize that from the first time I met her, she impacted my life in many ways. She was “the social neighbor” who easily threw together lunches that rivaled Martha Stewart. We also shared the bond of being reproductively challenged. When I was blessed to give birth to a little girl, she was the first visitor at the hospital and often rushed home from work to have some baby time at my house. When, a little over a year later, she had a baby girl, we felt so lucky to have our girls and knew they’d be the best of friends. (They are!) Over the years, our friendship bloomed and we helped each other through life’s struggles, often sharing parts of our dinners, carpooling, and talking into the wee hours of the night. As she continued her education, eventually earning her PhD, I couldn’t have been more proud. I marveled at her ability to effortlessly juggle her many roles and still make time to be a great friend. Shortly after the birth of her second child, I noticed a slight shift. She seemed to be a bit overwhelmed, I thought I understood. It wasn’t until that spring that she first mentioned the lump. I knew she was scared, I was too.

Initially, it seemed that she would undergo some harsh chemo, have a mastectomy and a little radiation, then life would return to normal. I’ve since learned not to trust the best laid plans. She has been on a non-stop roller coaster ride. The latest hill may very well be her last as the disease has now invaded her beautiful brain. Even as she faces the truth of her situation bravely, I don’t see sadness in her eyes. She just wants a little more time on this earth, she still has much to do.