As is always part of my bedtime routine, I let the dog out, got a glass of water, headed upstairs pausing briefly at the door of my sleeping princess. Her beauty never fails to stop my breath for just a minute. I often think I don’t deserve this kind of happiness, then realize life will never be sweeter than it is right now. I also checked in on my sweet son. For some strange reason, I found myself frozen at the side of his bed gazing down on his peaceful sleeping face.
He was in the really deep part of his nightly doze and made some sweet snurggling noises, rubbed his nose and said something I couldn’t understand. I stood there for at least 5 minutes watching him sleep and wondering what he was dreaming of, possibly the awesome 3 point basket he made in the game that afternoon or was it a girl? As often happens lately, I was struck by the realization that he is no longer a little boy, but not yet a man. It’s a somewhat bittersweet emotion that fills me with both wonder and dread. I wonder at the fact that out of all the millions of little boys in the world, I somehow lucked out and got him and dread the day when he will move out of my house and start his own life. I wish I could somehow freeze time, if only for a little while and stay right where we are in our happy cocoon.
At least for the moment, he still likes to hang out with me, unless one of his buddies calls and a better offer comes along. I savor our time together, grasping to hang on and get inside his head. We’ve enjoyed some conversations lately that give me glimpses of the world through his eyes. When he was little, he thought I was pretty smart, funny and the most beautiful girl he knew. I am fortunate to still hold at least mild intelligence, I can be humorous and he doesn’t rate me as gross, however, I am realistic enough to know that time is fleeting and I’m slowly being replaced. I have so much work left to do! I am still shaping him into the man he’ll someday be.
He’s very thoughtful, polite, compassionate towards his peers and trying to find his niche in the world. I have a pretty good idea of what he likes and dislikes, I also know that he dreams of playing for the Cubs someday. I want him to find true happiness. I want him to be honest. I want him to face challenges head on. Mostly, I want him to like himself.
He is quickly growing into a fine young man with a heart as tender and pure as anyone I’ve ever known. I fight the urge to hold him close and shut out the rest of the world, knowing that it’s my job to give him wings and love him unconditionally as he maneuvers his way through the world. With a gentle kiss on the cheek and a re-tuck I head to bed knowing that for now, all is well.
He was in the really deep part of his nightly doze and made some sweet snurggling noises, rubbed his nose and said something I couldn’t understand. I stood there for at least 5 minutes watching him sleep and wondering what he was dreaming of, possibly the awesome 3 point basket he made in the game that afternoon or was it a girl? As often happens lately, I was struck by the realization that he is no longer a little boy, but not yet a man. It’s a somewhat bittersweet emotion that fills me with both wonder and dread. I wonder at the fact that out of all the millions of little boys in the world, I somehow lucked out and got him and dread the day when he will move out of my house and start his own life. I wish I could somehow freeze time, if only for a little while and stay right where we are in our happy cocoon.
At least for the moment, he still likes to hang out with me, unless one of his buddies calls and a better offer comes along. I savor our time together, grasping to hang on and get inside his head. We’ve enjoyed some conversations lately that give me glimpses of the world through his eyes. When he was little, he thought I was pretty smart, funny and the most beautiful girl he knew. I am fortunate to still hold at least mild intelligence, I can be humorous and he doesn’t rate me as gross, however, I am realistic enough to know that time is fleeting and I’m slowly being replaced. I have so much work left to do! I am still shaping him into the man he’ll someday be.
He’s very thoughtful, polite, compassionate towards his peers and trying to find his niche in the world. I have a pretty good idea of what he likes and dislikes, I also know that he dreams of playing for the Cubs someday. I want him to find true happiness. I want him to be honest. I want him to face challenges head on. Mostly, I want him to like himself.
He is quickly growing into a fine young man with a heart as tender and pure as anyone I’ve ever known. I fight the urge to hold him close and shut out the rest of the world, knowing that it’s my job to give him wings and love him unconditionally as he maneuvers his way through the world. With a gentle kiss on the cheek and a re-tuck I head to bed knowing that for now, all is well.
Great first blog! I'm proud of you for trying out this new medium. Per haps this will allow you to incorporate your love for reading & writing. Keep it coming... :)
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